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wThursday, February 27, 2003 |
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There are things I don't want to tell you
Secrets deep and dark
I am weak when I should be strong, and strong when I should be weak
I am the antithesis of all that is pure & good and yet pretend that I am holy
There are things I don't want to tell you
skeletons in my closet, pasts I wish I could deny
there are truths that have been forgotten
and lies that have forced their way into my reality
There are things I don't want to tell you
and things I never will, things I think my family
would disown me for if they even knew
there have been places I've ended up that I didn't want to be
there have been decisions I've made that I wish I could retract
there are lives I have hurt and many times my own heart broken
there are lost children and broken marriages and car wrecks and bounced checks
there is misfortune, disease, & lies. there are one-night stands and many bands
there have been kisses, near misses, and mistaken blisses
there are things I don't want to tell you
about my past about my future
about who I'll never be and who I never was
about the side of me you'll never see that I keep hidden with lock and key
there are late-night orgies and early morning gorgings
there has been gluttony and fasting, short-term and lasting
there have been many a night where I ended up I don't know where
and many years to get me far from there
there have been hotel rooms and dark smoky bars
there have been young and old, near and far
there has been hate deep in my soul and love I have denied
there have been nights I've been violent and days where I've cried
i have broken hearts & mended few, I have many a times been lost what to do
thirty years full of mistakes, regrets are few, as I keep learning what to do
there are things better left unsaid, accusations against my mother
there are bad thoughts in my head that I choose to not disclose
there are fears that if someone pried opened my brain
and really saw what was inside, they would lock me up for good
there are places I have been, odd people I have seen
there have been long and lonely nights full of broken dreams
posted by
reform school jill at 11:43 AM
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