today is my parents' anniversary
do i have to speak of it in the past tense? or in the perfect past tense?
today would have been my parents' anniversay
because he is no longer around, is it no longer a day?
regardless, i am sad. very sad.
and i'm gonna go help my mom try to be less sad.
they would have been married 38 years today.
can you imagine being married to the same person for 37 years?
the only man you've loved? the only man you've ever been with?
i can't. and to think of that, and my mom alone in that big 2-story
4-bedroom house with nothing but memories and loneliness and
pictures of my father everywhere and a box of his remains under
the coffee table because you're still too confused to know what
to do with everything because it's only been less than six months
since he's passed away. yeah, to think of that makes me compile
a long list of bad sandra bullock and julia roberts movies that i'm
just gonna show up at her house with and surprise her with a pizza
and hope that my presence doesn't make her more sad and aware
of what day it is. we all deal with things the way we deal with things.
but sometimes...sometimes it's just nice to have some company.
