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wWednesday, June 01, 2005 |
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you should read blogs from the bottom up, so you know what's going on. or not. what the fuck do i care if you know what's going on. fuck you.
who is this directed to? no one. i just think it's funny. sometimes i have a sick sense of humor. but fuck you for not being able to take a joke.
why is MetroCare always sitting outside the 41st street golf course? are there really that many golfing accidents that we just never hear of??
last night at barfly's i started a "hate" list on a bar tab because i kept saying how much i hated everything. and i mean everyhing. i crossed off the "Thank" and wrote "Fuck" You instead.
it started off with:
-i hate steve nash. HATE.
-i hate ryan adams
-i hate pat green, jerry jeff walker, steve/robert earl keen, & that whole country jock/frat cult. (country boys who smoke pot cult)
speaking of cults...
-i HATE tom cruise. he is a fucking freak.
and so are all scientologists. including beck, you freak! why'd you have to go and join that cult.
speaking of freaks...
-i hate alex jones. freak! and i love freaks! but not you, alex. not you.
but then i felt as if i sounded a little too bitter. so i flipped it over and added
i do like:
-digable planets
-la zona rosa
-my newfound love: gossip sites
(sad but true)
- the tv show: medium
but then i remembered i HATE morissey & robert smith. aaack!! and i hear they hate each other, too.
and then it was all over. but nothing a few 7&7's and a shot of jager couldn't cure.
--
speaking of how much of a freak tom cruise is, check out these clips:
tom cruise on oprah - in love with katie holmes
tom cruise on access hollywood - scientology vs "psychiatry"
and speaking of my new joy of gossip sites, here's one of the best ones i've found recently that keeps me amused for hours:
The Superficial - Because You're Ugly
i love paris hilton. i love vincent gallo. how befitting it is that he made this little video of her (but vincent gallo has got some freaky thing about bunnies):
paris honey bunny video
and yes, i stalk paris hilton online any spare minute i get. if anyone has her sex video (or knows a secret link to it), i've finally accepted that i could watch it now. but boy, the stuff you can find online...
and in other local news today, the Oasis burned down last night. (lightning struck? or "lightning" struck?) not that it is my favorite place or people there, or that i've even been there in years, or that the food was any good, but it truly is an authentic Austin landmark. the sunsets are beautiful. the lake is beautiful. Austin rocks!
speaking of sunsets, the one you see on the deck of the new opal divine's south is quite spectacular, which surprised me, because your ass is sitting over the busy street of south congress.
this is how pathetic (and cheap) i have become:
All Skydancer Premium Lights are Native American made, additive free, use cotton filters and use tobacco from farms either inside the United States or Canada.
$1.79/pack!
yes, i'm a classy dame.
The Seneca-Cayuga Tobacco Company is an enterprise of the Seneca-Cayuga Tribe of Oklahoma. The Seneca-Cayuga Tobacco Company is owned, operated, and funded by the Seneca-Cayuga Tribe of Oklahoma.
but hey! how cool i that, native americans are making the cigarettes i'm smoking. and i'm not conributing to the rj reynolds/winston/salem/philip morris conglomerate.
oh god, kraft is owned by the same company as philip morris!
you might as well be smoking those kraft singles!
no more kraft for me. p&g is evil too. they own everything. wal-mart's evil. and i think blockbuster is run by the devil. if you go to blockbuster, don't talk to me anymore. i mean it.
i stopped buying american spirits because i just recently heard they were bought out by rj reynolds. and by 'recently' i just now found out that it was early 2002!! i suck!!
"While Philip Morris is attempting to please its "valued" and "loyal" customers with an upscale, Marlboro-branded holiday offering, R.J. Reynolds is trying to acquire an entirely different customer base with its acquisition of Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Co. On Dec. 3, R.J.R. said it will up its bid for the Santa Fe, N.M.-based tobacco company to $340 million in cash from a previous bid of $320 million. It's not a bargain--Adelman characterizes the acquisition cost as "full price."
So what will R.J.R. get for its $340 million? Santa Fe, which makes American Spirits cigarettes featuring the logo of an American Indian on the pack, was born in 1982 but still has a marginal market share of only .2%."
damn. would i sell out for $340 million? maybe, just maybe.
"All the same, it became the cigarette of choice for the tragically hip."
damn. tragically hip? i'm just fucking pathetic.
maybe pathetically hip?
"Other brands owned by R.J.Reynolds include: Oreo Cookies, Chips Ahoy!, Snackwells, Newtons, Ritz Crackers, Premium Saltines, Nabisco Honey Maid Grahams, Triscuits, Air Crisps, Wheat Thins, Nilla, Nutter Butter, Stella D'Oro, Better Cheddars, Cheese Nips, Toastettes, Barnum's Animal Crackers, Lifesavers, Breath Savers, CareFree, Bubble Yum, Gummi Savers, Ice Breakers."
fucking liars! they don't even list american spirits as one of their brands!
"On January 16, 2002, R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Holdings, Inc. acquired Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company, Inc. for $340 million in cash. Santa Fe Natural Tobacco Company, Inc. manufactures Natural American Spirit cigarettes and other tobacco products, and markets them both nationally and internationally."
i can NOT find this officially listed anywhere, except on people's blogs and livejournals. so fuckin shady.
i forgot one. starbucks. hate. HATE. please go to quacks, flightpath, mojo's, pacha, little city, texspresso, anywhere but starbucks!
Woke up this morning and it seemed to me,
that every night turns out to be
A little more like Bukowski.
And yeah, I know he's a pretty good read.
But God who'd wanna be?
God who'd wanna be such an asshole?
one to add to my list: i'm starting to dislike modest mouse. for one thing, they're getting too big and everybody likes them now. i mean the moon and antarctica was good, but that's where it stops. they were on the OC last year for fuck's sake!
and i just gotta let em have it. cuz i ain't got no respect for anyone who doesn't respect bukowski.
they're just a whiny bunch of white boys. man, i hate all emo music. HATE.
shut up! quit whining! grow some balls, drink some whiskey, and get the fuck out of my face!! god, even i could kick your ass. your skinny little white ass is gonna break when the wind blows. fuck off.
he's not a "good read," you asshole, he's a lifestyle. you're so fucking pretentious. and it sounds like you're a bit of religious freaks too. ugh.
i hate whiny ass white boys. i'm so glad i'm not a boy. i probably would have gotten into a fight every day of my life. punching pussies who couldn't drink whiskey. their fuckin site is pink, for god's sake. pink!
i was gonna say their faggot site is pink. but i like faggots. these guys would give fags a bad name. these guys are just males without their penises. fags have their own penises and want more! we all love a good penis every now & then, don't we?! c'mon, admit it...
--
damn, alcohol alcohol drink it all!
that's all i needed: a good night of booze n bitchin'!
so then, where shall i begin again...
--
Radical Marketing. i just need one big idea. doesn't even have to be mine. but i could sell it. people would listen to me. well, they may not 'listen' to me, but they'd hear me, and the idea would sink into their brains, then later it would be mentioned again, and they'd have forgotten where they'd heard it, and they'd think they had thought of it and then they'd buy it. and that's what matters, they'd buy it. i don't care if they buy because i told them to or because they think they had thought to buy it on their own, i just need that one big idea. so...what's it gonna be, boy, what's it gonna be?
if you have an idea, give it to me. i'll pass the word. and we'll make it big, i tell you, BIG!
not like this guy though. a little underdog tobacco company that just couldn't keep up with the big dogs. (but i do like his approach)
i still am serious about opening up a bar here. and i know where i want it. and as soon as that business goes under, i'm movin' in.
do you know of any backers? wanna give me some money? or you could be a co-owner even...
it was gonna be Miss Kitty's Pussy Cat Lounge, but that sounds too much like a strip joint. so it may just be called Miss Kitty's.
unless some of you guys are emasculated by such a name (you bunch of pussies)
--
going through the chronicle again so i can recycle it before tomorrow's comes out. and you'd think i'd look at tomorrow's tomorrow. but nooo...i'll wait till next wednesday and let it sit on my desk untouched until then.
*my* ad pick o' the week:
[from a shot in the dark, p 151]
ME: HOOKER in alley. You: Bartender in Austin at Molotov Lounge. Brother helped you out of cuffs. Let me cuff you sometime?
[i kid you not]
--
Did you know...that you can tear newspaper straight down but not straight across?
Did you know...that it is very difficult to wipe with your left hand if you're not left-handed?
Did you know...that the Linux Journal is probably the most boring reading material to have in your bathroom at work?
Did you know...that I didn't get much accomplished at work today??
--
Mr. Smarty Pants Knows...
"Researchers at Northwestern University say your brain functions a lot like the Internet or a network of friends. They used functional magnetic resonance imaging to study the brain and concluded it can be visualized as a complex interacting network that relies on nodes to efficiently convey information from place to place."
i'm not scatterbrained i'm just usin' my noggin in the manner it was intended, anyone thinkin' in linear thought ain't usin it properly! so there...
posted by
zenbetty at 5:12 PM
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