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wSaturday, April 29, 2006 posted by zenbetty at 10:17 AM | wFriday, April 28, 2006 October 2005, Part I (Spoilers listed below for Unknown White Male) p3000: how was your second movie last night? zenbetty: i really really liked it zenbetty: and it really really made me think zenbetty: do you know what it was about? zenbetty: god it made me think all night, couldn't sleep p3000: no idea what it's about. do tell... zenbetty: 35-year-old guy in NY had amnesia zenbetty: he's originally british, his brit friend came over and recorded the two years after the amnesia incident, with him (doug) learning his new self, him desperate to know the past - then transformed to not really wanting to know the past anymore zenbetty: crazy stuff. i mean, if you could start over... zenbetty: would you want to remember everything you did, good and bad? or would you want a clean slate, at 35 (if you were single) and people said you had a good life before, and said you were a good person. zenbetty: so why not just start making new memories & new friends & new relationships p3000: that's fascinating zenbetty: the only thing he wanted to remember was his mother zenbetty: because his mother had passed away, so you couldn't re-learn that person, except from photographs etc zenbetty: (and that just so terribly terribly got me, about my father) zenbetty: and that i wouldn't want to forget him, but that would be it zenbetty: i mean, i could re-learn my mom & my sis cuz they're still here zenbetty: and it was also funny cuz his brit friends said zenbetty: what a refreshing feeling that would be, you wouldn't have to hang around some blokes you didn't really like. you could just say hey, man, i don't remember you, then start over zenbetty: ha p3000: funny p3000: yeah, so you wouldn't want to remember or would you? p3000: i would, even the bad stuff p3000: i'd be too damn curious zenbetty: well that's how he was in the beginning...then it sort of changed zenbetty: he had a new girlfriend with the new him, and they were thinking zenbetty: well what if it all just comes back one day, will he be the same old person he used to be or the new one he has become p3000: no shit zenbetty: it was sort of like you had to re-learn the people you "already knew" zenbetty: so in the process the guy who made the documentary was an old brit friend who flew in zenbetty: and he was narrating saying that as he learns the new doug zenbetty: the old doug is disappearing p3000: how sad! zenbetty: no, but it's sort of for the best p3000: oh zenbetty: it wasn't sad, it was beautiful zenbetty: he was seeing the new york lights for the first time zenbetty: and the ocean for the first time zenbetty: and fashion and people and tv and music zenbetty: he was like, i just found this great band! the rolling stones! p3000: HA! zenbetty: gave me chills, made me cry zenbetty: i mean, to see the world through the eyes of child but with a mature mind, it was so incredible zenbetty: made me want to take NOTHING for granted zenbetty: but we can't help it sometimes, we get stuck in routine p3000: i'm so putting this on my netflix zenbetty: he was taking history classes zenbetty: and re-learning what had happened in the world, re-learning history & everything zenbetty: i mean, how incredible is that zenbetty: i don't know if it was that good of a documentary per se zenbetty: but personally, though, it just made me really really think zenbetty: who am i? what makes us who we are? zenbetty: is it our memories? etc etc etc zenbetty: ugh! i couldn't sleep. brain in overdrive, haha zenbetty: http://www.unknownwhitemale.co.uk/ p3000: wait - so he just woke up with amnesia? there wasn't a blow to the head or anything? zenbetty: he "came to" on a subway bus in NY zenbetty: they don't know p3000: that's fascinating. why would the mind do that? zenbetty: they really sort of don't know zenbetty: in general, in the medical community p3000: i wonder if it's something that the mind can't handle (crisis, extreme stress) so it shuts down or if it's biological - his brain just restarted like a computer zenbetty: sort of yeah zenbetty: that and sometimes for whatever reason zenbetty: after it shuts down, the mind no longer wants to handle it or the brain no longer wants to remember zenbetty: i don't know zenbetty: it would be so fun to see sand and the ocean for the first time p3000: yeah p3000: but i'd hate to relearn all my mistakes zenbetty: well zenbetty: yeah zenbetty: but maybe they're in there zenbetty: what you learned, it's all there, you just can't grasp it exactly zenbetty: you know, he was nice before *and* after zenbetty: he didn't turn into a jerk or anything weird, you know, he didn't turn into a totally different type of person zenbetty: i mean, just cuz you can't remember something, you're still the same person, right? zenbetty: or are you? zenbetty: or are you better? because you have no guilt and no regret zenbetty: no conceit, no pretensions p3000: well yeah, i believe you'd be the same kind of person basically p3000: whenever people say "if i had it to do all over again" - i'd never want to do it all over again b/c i believe it would still come out the same way. even if you tried to make it different. p3000: not like fate really b/c you could do "it" in different ways, but i believe the result would be the same p3000: which takes the edge off of fretting about "should haves" and "meant to bes" zenbetty: i know, for the most part, i'd do most of it the same zenbetty: but you never know though, do "things happen for a reason" ? zenbetty: who knows... posted by zenbetty at 2:29 PM | wThursday, April 27, 2006 i'm usually not one for "cute" but i'll make an exception today: posted by zenbetty at 5:01 PM | w All we are saying is give peace a chance. Best. Remix. Ever. -courtesy of skalar Imagine there's no Heaven It's easy if you try No hell below us Above us only sky Imagine all the people Living for today Imagine there's no countries It isn't hard to do Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too Imagine all the people Living life in peace You may say that I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be as one Imagine no possessions I wonder if you can No need for greed or hunger A brotherhood of man Imagine all the people Sharing all the world You may say that I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will live as one -John Lennon posted by zenbetty at 3:54 PM | wWednesday, April 26, 2006 I used to LOVE Highlights magazine. Is that still around?! Yes! It still is! Anyway, I really liked my horoscope from a couple of weeks ago (April 13): When I was a kid, I read Highlights magazine. My favorite feature was the section that asked Zen-like questions like "Can you laugh and cry at the same time?" or "If you were a talking parrot, what words would you want to learn?" For this week's horoscope, I've borrowed the spirit of that old source of inspiration. May the following passage incite your raw wonder and feral innocence. What's more beautiful, the smell of an orange or the sight of a green hill in spring? Under what circumstances might you eat dessert before the main course? Have you ever seen a statue wink? Is it possible to fall up instead of down? Describe how you'd catch a dragonfly without hurting it. Tell a story that's half-true and half-lies. Can you grow brain cells just by thinking you want to? Yes! I think you can! I can make the rain stop, like I did last night. I have incredible will power. posted by zenbetty at 5:40 PM | w omigoodness the chronicle is promoting kinky hook-ups! ha! (yes, i'm going thru the old chronicles accumulated at my desk before the new one comes out tomorrow) posted by zenbetty at 5:35 PM | w I still need to go here. Look how yummy those look! posted by zenbetty at 5:27 PM | w what the hell is this?! posted by zenbetty at 5:26 PM | wWednesday, April 12, 2006 honest question: why is everyone in love with gmail? i want to know. it doesn't look that user-friendly to me. -- serious statement: if i'm every diagnosed with cancer, i'm moving to hawaii. posted by zenbetty at 4:49 PM | wTuesday, April 11, 2006 i'm twice as old as the dancing queen... posted by zenbetty at 3:33 PM | w Mom is perfectly fine Can't remember who all I told, but I took yesterday off work to take my mother to her colonoscopy and (since she has previously had breast cancer and we lost my father to cancer) she was completely convinced they were going to find some sort of cancer. BUT everything checked out fine! and doped-up mom, after the procedure, was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the valium-like drug wore off and she was her same ol' self by last night, ha, forgetting all the promises she made in her "happy" state to stop stressing herself out in the future. But yes, no cancer at this time! Thanks for listening, and if I just spilled it on you this past week without you asking, thanks for not turning away and leaving me talking to myself at some point. ha. Good day sunshine! I love April in Austin! -- p.s. If you know of anyone needing a colonoscopy, they should really go. It honestly was a quick, simple, and painless procedure. My mom found a great Endoscopy Center and Doctor off Steck Ave, where all the staff was wonderfully helpful and courteous. posted by zenbetty at 2:51 PM | wTuesday, April 04, 2006 What you think you create What you feel you attract What you imagine you become -- I am a walking contradiction. -- I love the smell of gasoline on men. posted by zenbetty at 6:19 PM | wMonday, April 03, 2006 Weekly Meditations Try practicing this Eating Meditation before your next meal, taking a small portion of food, like a single strawberry. Amnesia: Imagine you have never seen a strawberry (or any piece of food) in your life, and examine it the way a baby would examine something newly discovered. Look at the strawberry and try to notice something about it that you have never noticed before. This should be easy, as no two strawberries are ever identical. Now close your eyes and see if you can smell the strawberry. Lick your lips and rub the strawberry over your lips, massaging your lips gently. How does it feel? Now lick your lips. Can you taste the trace flavor of the strawberry? Hold the strawberry in your mouth, and roll it around. How does it feel in your mouth? As you chew, notice the immediate change in the intensity of the flavor. Slowly chew the strawberry while resisting the urge to swallow. Sit a little taller and notice if posture affects your appreciation for the strawberry. Breathe in deeply and let your breath go with long soft sighs. Does breathing help you enjoy the strawberry? Relax your face and smile. Notice how smiling improves the taste of a strawberry. posted by reform school jill at 5:34 PM | w Hello friends. I finally have some extra time on my hands. Be careful of Jill when she has too much time on her hands. Also be wary when she says she's trying to clean up her life. This week's Chronicle has the best horoscope for me EVER! If you know me at all, then you know it is perfect for me: "It would be a great time to launch several new ventures all at once, even if it means abandoning an old project you've been working on for months. APRIL FOOL! Don't you dare do what I just suggested. The future won't thrive unless you lavish the past with the gift of your careful attention. Please please please put the finishing touches on a labor of love you've been working on for months--and then start new projects." On that note, I think I must go finish cleaning out my closets right now. (But there is such good bad cable on!!) posted by reform school jill at 12:25 PM | wSaturday, April 01, 2006 Top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time posted by zenbetty at 11:32 AM |