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wWednesday, September 26, 2007 |
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15 Things I Learned in Marfa this Weekend
There were some things I already knew, some things I had forgotten but remembered, and some things I learned for the very first time.
1) I remembered I love road trips. Hitting the open road and heading out of town is one of the best feelings in the world. Listening to good music without a care in the world and leaving your life behind in the rearview mirror is completely invigorating.
2) I enjoy the company of strangers. I rode up there with two new friends (strangers!) and rode home with another new friend/stranger. Both trips (6+ hours!) were highly enjoyable conversing with these new people in my life, and just learning about them and who they are and where they have been and where they want to go. The most refreshing aspect of being amongst these strangers was that they were not judging me, they didn’t have any preconceived notions of who I am or who I was or who I'm supposed to be, and they had no expectations of me, no grudges against me, and nothing but an earnest appreciation of my company. And that meant the world to me.
3) I’m not allergic to bees after all! Yes, I got stung on my left breast (!) while wearing my bikini at the pool. Ha! I had been terrified of being stung by a bee my entire life because my father was completely allergic and had to race to the hospital for a shot upon being stung. So weird it is (and such a waste of time) how much energy you can scare yourself with stuff that has never happened before, and when it does finally happen and it didn’t turn out as bad as you expected, you’re like omigod, wasted energy! So I'm trying to change that completely. But unfortunately that puts me back into the “live fast, die young” mode. Alas, I'm no longer young, so I think that just means I'll be living fast. Ha. But point to be noted: there is much to be said for caution. Just not for cowardice.
p.s. Why is everyone so afraid of bees? I thought I would almost die was my legit reason. It barely even hurt. (But you should have seen the frozen shocked expression on my face as I held my breath for about half an hour, waiting for my body to implode. It was pretty funny. Well awkward funny, but still funny nonetheless.) But people, unless you are allergic, there is no reason to be afraid of a bee sting.
4) I don't look half bad for a 35-year-old gal. I also enjoy the company of people my age, rather than the 22-year-old hipsters who are invading the Austin scene. (No offense to those 22-year-old hipsters who I am actually good friends with. You, personally, are wonderful in my eyes! And I enjoy being around you because, well, I need some drinking buddies and the old farts my age (sorry old fart friends) can't keep up anymore. Not that I really can either, but you know what I mean.) It was just fun talking about stuff from years back and you didn’t have to explain everything, like they knew the same bands, the same tv shows, the same movies of your time, and that instantly created a “yeah, I know where you’re coming from” kind of rapport. Regarding the hipsters these days who are too cool for me to hang with, perhaps it’s just my time to move on out and leave this city behind for the next generation of kids. Sounds good to me. I have christened this city well for you, you next generation of youth. Enjoy it. And don’t destroy it. And keep all those condo-moving-in mother-f’ers in line. I’m leaving you with a mighty task, young people of austin: keep my red river dirty.
5) I make a pretty decent bartender. And I enjoy it. And I enjoy hard work, manual labor, and getting a little dirt under my nails. I love picking up kegs, getting filthy with dust blowing in my face, beer sloshing over my clothes, and my boots completely covered in mud. And then, not even showering it off at the end of the night. Mmm. Gross disgusting beautiful feeling. I love it, ha. Let's go camping again soon. Say when.
When.
6) I need to sleep more. If anyone can figure out that one for me, please do let me know.
7) I let two new girl friends braid my hair and put make-up on me (yes, in the middle of a desert campsite, we were primping one night, ha). And as much as I resisted, it really was kinda fun. And I have come to the conclusion that braids look pretty good on me, if I may say so myself. But people hollering at me "hey cowgirl" and "hey pigtails" to get better service at the bar is something I would only allow in Marfa TX (so don't you locals go gettin' any silly ideas).
p.s. Braids shrink up when you get them wet. And then they look like fish scales the next morning. Oh and then your hair totally frizzes when two days later you finally take them out and you decide you absolutely must brush that rat’s nest and it takes about two hours to brush out all the gnarly tangles, and then you look like you stuck your finger in an electrical outlet. No but seriously, it really was fun.
I sat in one of these dutch tubs one night. O to be able to afford one for my backyard would be nice.
8) Old friends are some of the best friends you can ever have. It's great to spend the entire day with someone you have known for over 17 years. And even better, that every time you run into them over those past 17 years, whenever it may be, you slip right back into that comfortableness and familiarity that comes with knowing someone that long. And instead of feeling more distant with the passing years and fewer conversations, you actually feel the opposite, you feel that much closer during these random sightings, birthday blessings, and lovely surprise encounters in the middle of a West Texas desert. And you don't waste your time talking about stuff that doesn't matter. I love that, getting to the real grit right away. People talk too much about stuff that doesn't matter. Why are people so afraid to talk about that which may be scary or painful or real or sad. So instead, they keep it to, "How’s the weather?” Chitchat. I hate that. Oh, I'm not supposed to 'hate' anymore. Let me rephrase: chitchat, I will eliminate that.
9) I do have goals and dreams and desires and aspirations. And I am a creative person. And I don't need to show anyone a 'final product' per se to prove it. I don't need to prove it at all. I don't need to get something published or put something out there just to show that there are ideas in my head worth listening to or worth reading or believing. And I don't need anyone to ever tell me I'm unmotivated. Perhaps they just can't see the twinkle in my eye, that spark of inspiration that is triggered almost every other second of almost every day within me. I know what's in me, and I love it.
10) I love being in nature. I love the sun. I love swimming. I love sleeping under an open sky. I love running around with dogs and children in a field and not acting my age. I love helping out strangers. I love being helped by strangers. I love coming up with solutions to problems the old-fashioned way. I love small towns, texas charm, and the thrill of a new place. I love nobody knowing my last name, where I grew up, or what I was doing twelve years ago. I love flying by the seat of my pants, going with the flow, and not having any idea how I'm getting back home after a weekend in west texas...and not even blinking an eye or spending one ounce of worry on that situation you find yourself in. Live in the now, the present. Forget about everything else. I'm replacing all negative thoughts with only positive ones. We only grow by outgrowing.
11) I took pictures of the clouds and the scenery on the drive up there. And that was it, ha. I took no other pictures the entire weekend. Except one: the liquor store. I pulled it out only that once for the liquor storefront photo. Cuz I'm like that. And yes, it will probably take me six months to get those few pictures off my camera and posted online. Get over it.
12) I can play the saw. Yes! I was taught (and I learned!) how to play the saw. At first, my "technique" sounded like a dying cat, but then I was patient enough and didn't give up. I'm sure I looked completely awkward and uncomfortable sitting there with a saw squeezed between my knees, held in the proper “S” curve position (ha), barely balancing on a barstool, but I did it. (Who only knows if I could ever do it again though.) And thank you, my saw-playing teacher (who was rather patient as well).
13) I love laughing out loud and having a permanent smile on my face. I love people who can make me laugh and I can make them laugh. I laugh just thinking about laughing. I'm a pretty funny gal when it comes down to it. And if you can stand me, I'm pretty fun to hang around with as well.
14) As much as I dread going to work, or leaving for out of town, or exercising, or whatever the case...the dread is futile. It is wasted energy. Once I step foot outside of my front door, and sit behind the wheel of that car or enter that airport, I'm great. I am no longer in control or fretful of what I might have forgotten. It’s too late now, and I can't fly that plane. My desire for control disappears completely as I realize that everything is now out of my hands. If I could just realize that more often in the little things in life (like that horrible cliche "don't sweat the small stuff"), well then I'd probably stop and smell the roses a lot more. Even though I’ve never come across a random field of roses. (And I probably wouldn't accomplish much either actually, ha, bending over with my nose to the dirt all the time.) And packing for trips, I really use very little of what I bring when it comes down to it. I do not know at all why I have so much in my closet or why I pack so much in my bag. I wore about three things, but I could have lived off of what I had packed for an entire month. No lie. Which I almost decided to do. Again, no lie. I almost didn't come back...
All I need are some vegetarian snacks, contacts solution, and...well, that's really about it, the rest is inconsequential. Except beer. I need beer. And vodka doesn't hurt either. And straws. Straws are always fun. See, there goes my list again. Okay, but eating, seeing, and drinking are pretty vital things. I can keep those three on my list. We’ll worry about clothes and shelter when we get there. Wherever ‘there’ is.
15) I found myself again. I thought I had lost me, but I was incorrect. I have been here the entire time.
posted by
zenbetty at 2:32 PM
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