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wMonday, November 20, 2006 |
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I don't know what to say, Sarah. Except I had a friend commit suicide two Februarys ago, and it affected me more tremendously than I ever thought it would. Not because we were close and she loved me unconditionally, like your dear friend did you. But because I didn't have a clue as to the depths of her distress. I could have called her on her birthday, I could have given her another day of hope, another voice of someone she knew was out there. I could have been a better friend and reached out to know her more. But I had no idea. And the scary thing is, it could be any one of us with all these demons bottled up inside, it could even be me, and we have no idea because, well not because we don't listen enough, but because we just cannot hear what another is thinking if they do not tell us. Sure, there are signs. But the minister said we were not to blame ourselves for not being there more. Not to think what if, what could I have done differently. Not to be too sad because she was full of laughter when she was happy, and when she wasn't, then the depression just became too great for one human being to withstand. And at the time, I thought more than anything, what if it had been me? What if I had been sitting there alone and imploding with this intense turmoil and didn't know how to find the light at the end of the tunnel? Who would I turn to? Who would find me and save me and know that I needed help? I cried more there at my friend's funeral than at my own father's funeral. I cried at her funeral for her, and I cried for my father, and I cried for her parents, and I cried for her sister talking up there at the podium. And I pictured my own sister speaking about me, up there, not knowing what to say and not having any idea that I had been that tortured inside. And I cried for all the sad people in all of the world who don't think there's any other way out of the darkness. At my father's funeral I couldn't cry because I had to be strong for my family. Or so I thought. So it just opened the flood gates last February, and the years of emotions and pent-up sorrow just came pouring out, as I sat in the back of the pews by myself, hoping nobody was staring at me and judging me, thinking to themselves about me and her "Why is she crying? They weren't even that good of friends." Because it was for the loss of all life that I wept for on that day. It was definitely the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness above everything else that was repressed and released out of me that day. I can't feel your pain exactly, losing such a good friend in such a tragic way. But I can feel your pain in a different sort of way, losing a friend, losing someone to suicide, losing a father to cancer. And it scares me many times over. And I have to keep telling myself, as I tell you: Don't give up hope. Don't lose faith.
"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."
-- Aeschylus
I cried more during my father's illness, at the onset mostly, when we found out about the cancer. And then there was a time of hope amongst the remission. And then I cried more again later after we found out the severity of the returning cancer. I let myself experience my loss then, at the time of the illness, rather than waiting till the finality of his death. I went through the phases of denial/acceptance whatnot through the entire process of his sickness, so when time for the actual funeral came, I was just going through the motions on auto-pilot, making the arrangements, being strong for my mother. You, however, were not allowed that grieving period, that time to say good-bye, that time to spend what precious moments you have left with another human being that you can choose to spend because you know that time is precious, that the time left is short. You woke up one day, and he was gone. And that is why now, you, me, everyone, must live life to the fullest. That is why you never go to sleep mad at a lover. That is why you never walk away from someone while saying mean things because you may never ever be able to take those cruel words back.
I didn't talk to my friends for quite a while, and if you know me, you know I'm rather a social person. I had to decompress. Sit at home. Watch movies. Cry alone. Lie in my room with Miss Kitty. Unleash my grief into a journal. Take a filmmaking class. Distract myself with long excursions at HEB and the library. Not drink at all. Try to sleep when I could. Go through the motions at work. Survive.
"Sitting silently, doing nothing, spring comes and the grass grows by itself."
I watched a sappy movie last night, but the words rang true: "You did not lose your control. You did not lose your freedom. You lost your illusions of the world and the idea that you were ever in control." It IS a scary and unpredictable place, and those thoughts frighten me every day. I have this fear of loss that is almost insurmountable. I have plenty of acquaintances, but few very close close friends. Few who know everything about me. And this impending fear of loss, too, has always been a detriment to whatever dating situation I may encounter. I have never been horribly dumped or truly betrayed, so the true root of this problem is still rather a mystery to me. One origin could be the fact that we moved around a lot while I was growing up. So getting attached to someone then having to leave them quite soon after became a ritual I had to become accustomed to. And this reality either allows one to develop deep personal relationships very quickly and permanently, or, in my case, caused me to float around in life and realize that we're all just drifting, and knowing that if I attach myself to anyone or anything, it definitely will soon be gone, because that is just a way of life. Everything must end. The existentialist in me would take over. So why bother? Such a horrible term that would fly out of my mouth too easily. Why bother? Why bother to make lasting and life-changing relationships with the people around you? Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all? At some times, I really don't know. When the pain is so great, one tends to think, no, loss is not better. When given the choice between feeling nothing and feeling pain, which would you choose? Why bother..? Because that is what life is made of. All we have are our connections with other human beings. And if these connections and relationships we create don’t matter, then I don’t know what I’m doing here on planet earth.
What you think you create
What you feel you attract
What you imagine you become
I'll tell you one thing NOT to do: do not listen to Radiohead - Kid A. Well you can. I have an entry here from a day before the funeral, and this is before knowing it was a suicide yet. We had only been informed that she had passed away. Still, the grief was building even then:
Feb 7, 2005 - When you don't know how you're supposed to feel...
(Scroll down to Feb 7, 2005)
DO get cheesy & read some Richard Bach: Illusions or Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
DO wake up early on a Saturday morning and go to the Austin Farmer's Market. Try new things, break your routine, go places you've never been before. Call up old friends, reconnect with family, meet new people.
We're thinking of going to this tomorrow [The Small Stars at Hyde Park Theatre], if you'd be interested in joining, please do. As a friend, I've become a decent listener to some subjects others might find too difficult to discuss. And I've also become a good hospital companion over the past few years, if one ever needs to hold a hand at a hospital bedside. I've found strengths I've never ever known I had. I've also found weaknesses that run much deeper than I could have ever imagined. But that's what makes us human. Vulnerable, yet destined for survival. Perfectly flawed. Achingly beautiful.
I think the reason I started writing entries back in October 2002 was because I finally needed to just start getting sad stuff off my chest, and there was no one to listen to me, or no one I felt comfortable leaning on. So I just wrote to myself. To keep myself sane. No one really reads my blog, I don't post regularly at all, it has just always been there more for me to release some of those thoughts so they don't bottle up. Sometimes to keep the sadness out of overwhelming my everyday life. Other times to express my utmost joy. Write it all down. And listen to disco music. When youre ready. Re-reading all this, you're really taking me back. And I guess the most important thing I see, is don't forget them. Even when people are gone from your life, don't let them disappear from your memory.
Here are a couple of Bowie songs to get you through the day. Also, I'll burn you Kid A if you don't already own it. Cuz you really should own it.
It Ain't Easy (mp3)
Rock 'N Roll Suicide (mp3)
Oh no love! you're not alone
You're watching yourself but you're too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only make you care
Oh no love, you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone
Just turn on with me and you're not alone
Let's turn on and be not alone
Gimme your hands cause you're wonderful
You're wonderful
Gimme your hands!
(This is probably my all-time favorite song.)
--
Happy Thanksgiving. The holidays are hard, too, so that doesn't help. As are the gray days and the nights that are dark by 5pm. So here's one more song that will leave you thinking happy thoughts and remind you to be thankful:
Be Thankful for What You've Got (mp3)
Everything WILL be okay. Everything will always be the way it is meant to be.
--
thank your lucky stars for everything in your life.
everything happens for a reason, and everything doesn't happen for a reason.
you draw you write you play you eat you drink you dance
you laugh you smile you cry
you live
take care. i'm thinking of you. and i know you are in many others' thoughts as well.
-jill
My father passed away November 23, 2002. It falls on Thanksgiving Day this year. All I can do, is be there for my mother...even though at times she gets so sad it's almost unbearable. I exude strength and confidence and joy, and I let down my guard later. Alone. Hang in there.
--
(I wrote this quickly, so please forgive my misspellings and/or misuse of some words. I just wanted to get it out there quickly, to let you know that you are not alone. We are all here alone. But we really don't have to be.)
posted by
zenbetty at 4:06 PM
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wTuesday, September 05, 2006 |
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[OT] Women's Tackle Football
Here is the press release for anyone interested in trying out for Austin's own women's tackle football team. They are a non-profit organization as well so if you don't want to try out, support them by going to games or through your contributions.
AUSTIN OUTLAWS HOST TRYOUTS FOR 2007 SEASON!
The Austin Outlaws Women's Football Team will kick off their 2007 pre-season by hosting open tryouts for the upcoming season on Saturday, September 16th. All women over the age of 18 who are interested in playing football are invited to attend. "We're looking for women who've always wanted to play and who are willing to put forth the effort to go bring home a Championship in 2007," says General Manager Lily Messina. Tryouts will be held at Bedichek Middle School and will start promptly at 10am. A $35 registration fee, proof of insurance, and proof of age will be required.
The Outlaws ended their 2006 season with their first appearance in the NWFA Playoffs. They went 6-2 on the regular season, ending with a loss to the Chattanooga Locomotion in Round 1 of the playoffs. "Last year was huge for us, and we made great strides. We are very excited about our ability to build on that season with an even better year!" adds Messina.
The Austin Outlaws are members of the National Womens Football Association and the only womens football team in Austin. The NWFA is the largest full-contact women's football league in the world with more than 40 teams nationwide. The Outlaws play in the Southwest Division and will battle rival teams in the Oklahoma City Lightning, Dallas Rage, Shreveport Shockers and the Pensacola Power.
For more information about our tryouts or team, you can visit the team website at www.austinoutlaws.com. You can also contact Lily Messina at (512) 796-0108 or lily_messina@yahoo.com. For additional information on the NWFA, please visit www.womensfootballassociation.com. This website receives between 1 and 3 million hits per month. Or call the league office at (615) 860-4084.
posted by
reform school jill at 4:21 PM
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wMonday, July 24, 2006 |
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Where I will be the next couple of days...and so should you!
Tuesday July 25th
Irreversible, 7pm @ Alamo Downtown
-->After that, I'm walking over to the Velvet Spade (912 Red River) for the FREE Pong show! PONG @ 11pm, w/ Peel @ 10pm - Listen to some Pong Songs:
• Pong - Interpol
• Pong - Killer Lifestyle
• Pong - Incapacitated
--
Wednesday July 26th
Summer, 7pm @ Alamo Downtown
-->After that, I'm walking over to The Side Bar (602 E 7th) for their 2nd Birthday Party:
PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Hey Everybody!
It's that time of year again! The Side Bar is turning TWO!
So to celebrate and give a big thanks to our awesome bar family, we are throwing a huge bash! There will be a yummy BBQ spread, fun raffle, free commemorative tees, DJ for some bootie-shaking and the famous slushy-shots! Oh, and we'll have a keg of Lone Star and cake. We can't forget the cake!
So, we'd love to have you join us for what's guaranteed to be a great time had by all! After all, we would be nothing without you guys!
The party starts at 7PM, Wednesday, July 26th!
See you there!
Trey, Soo and the side bar gang
602 East 7th Street
Austin, Texas 78701
512.322.0697
--
p.s. Listen to some new Scissor Sisters while you're at it.
posted by
zenbetty at 2:07 PM
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wMonday, July 17, 2006 |
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Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
~H. G. Wells
The bicycle points a direction. It allows people, in a simple but radical way, to gain control of their lives.
~Andrew Ritchie
The future belongs to those who understand that doing more with less is compassionate, prosperous, and enduring, and thus more intelligent, even competitive.
~Paul Hawken
The honest man is the one who realizes that he cannot consume more, in his lifetime, than he produces.
~John Galt
posted by
reform school jill at 3:50 PM
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TNR
How cool is this?!
You may have noticed that Northfield (North Loop Area) is blessed with an abundance of cats, some of which have one ear shorter than the other. They're our neighborhood TNR cats.
TNR is an acronym for "trap-neuter-release," a form of animal control that regulates the population of stray and feral cats. Volunteers humanely trap and neuter the cats, then release them at their original location, where they are fed and monitored in a permanent colony. While the cats are being neutered, about 1/4" of one ear tip is removed so that they can be recognized from a distance. This alerts animal control that the cat is part of a maintained colony and should not be picked up.
Studies have indicated that TNR is a more effective and less expensive means of stabilizing and ultimately reducing stray and feral cat populations than traditional trap and kill methods. Once neutered, much of the inconvenience caused by stray cats is greatly mitigated. Neutered cats fight and roam less, which leads to less spread of disease and inconvenience to neighbors. The TNR colony prevents other cats from moving in, and as the TNR cats die off naturally, individual new cats that appear can be trapped, neutered, and integrated into the colony. More information about TNR is available at www.alleycat.org.
Northfield currently has two small successful TNR colonies: one near 55th & Ave F, and one near Link & Nelray, that are managed by local volunteers. If you would like to learn more about the colonies, or would like to start one on your own block, please contact minerva@io.com.
-From the Northfield Newsletter
posted by
zenbetty at 2:04 PM
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wSaturday, July 15, 2006 |
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So today I went to the Austin Farmer’s Market at 4th & Guadalupe. It was my first time there. Last month while I was on vacation, it was one of the things I vowed to do upon my return. My first Saturday back, and I’ve already done it! In Greece, all of the meals were so fresh, practically straight from the restaurant owner’s garden. People seemed to buy what they need and what was available and not to go overboard shopping, like I tend to do. So my 'resolution' was to try shopping more weekly & buying fresh, rather than stockpiling my cupboard. So now when I do use those instant rice mixes or cans of pasta sauce, I will mix in fresh veggies and fresh garlic to make it taste more homemade.
So, today I purchased...
I had the freshest hibiscus mint tea + lemonade combo. With lots of ice. ($2.00 – Nile Valley Herbs) Refreshing! Already ninety degrees at noon, I went back for a refill before I was two booths away. The next booth I stopped at was the Ethiopian food. Upon first glance, I was going to buy the spinach pie, but after tasting the spicy lentil, I was sold on that instead. ($3.50 – Aster’s Ethiopian Catering, 786-9524 – available at the Farmer’s Market, Whole Foods, & Wheatsville) Aster’s Ethiopian Catering, Spicy Split Lentils sandwich: onion, chili powder, olive oil, water, garlic, ginger, cinnamon, black pepper, salt, spices. Mmmm.
The one good thing about going at noontime (the Farmer’s Market on Saturdays is only open till 1pm) is that the prices may be $.50 off or 2-for-1 by then. The bad thing however is that they have practically run out of everything worth buying. And…they’re hot & tired and ready to pack up. I got there about 12:30pm. I almost felt rude for showing up so late, but they still appreciated the business. I even ran into an old friend/roommate Laura & her boyfriend. The pesto & soups made by Julie (Austin Readymade) sounded wonderful per the listed ingredients, but I’m gonna have to show up earlier some Saturday and catch all these treats before the booths shut down.
One booth down were the kolaches. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, so the cream cheese kolaches weren’t that enticing to me. Oddly enough, poppy seed kolaches were said to be the standard original kolache. Those definitely didn’t look good to me (and some lady whispered to me that she didn’t really like them either), but all of them were practically sold by 12:30pm anyway. I purchased the Tomato & Feta Cheese kolache ($2.50), which was more like a sandwich. (I just ate it now. It was delicious. Also, I am currently in love with feta cheese.) I would assume from the list of vendors that these were from Southside Kolaches (because they were the only kolaches listed) but don’t hold me to it. Everyone was super friendly there, not just trying to sell their goods, but earnestly friendly. And they had been there since at least before 9am when it opens. (I'm sure I would have fizzled out by noon.)
There were plants for sale, some crafts like soaps, candles, and t-shirts (which surprised me because I thought it would be more food products out there), honey, salsas, etc. It was a manageable size, just two rows, but still enough of a variety to stock up your pantry with fresh goods for the week until next Saturday.
The second row of booths was mostly fresh veggies. As soon as I saw the sign, I knew I had to have some: Farm Fresh Eggs. We’re talking farm fresh eggs. So I marched up and asked…unfortunately, she had sold out by 11am or so. Durn! And to get my hopes up. And then I saw the back of a pick-up with towers of empty egg cartons teetering out the back. "Say you do?" Yes. One dozen eggs = $3. I’ll take ‘em! Free-range, organic-fed. (Makes me think of all these happy chickens frolicking around on their big farm in Wimberley and laying their fresh eggs daily for me. I think I might invest in a chicken someday. Someday…) And I ask, do I just bring this carton back for you? He said, “Oh yes please. See all these? We re-use. Recycle.” I said, yes I see, I love it. I’ll be back.
PLEASE BRING CLEAN CARDBOARD EGG CARTONS TO THE MARKET: These can be reused by the smaller 'yard' egg farmers. Bring them to the farmers selling eggs--they'll gladly take them off your hands.
I couldn’t walk away without some veggies, the original reason I had set out on this mission today, but the yellow tomatoes and the okra and others weren’t that appealing to me. I’m sure all the standards had walked off early, and now were just the exotic or unwanted. But I found one last booth that caught my eye, and I walked away with 3 Italian eggplants (they’re smaller & rounder than the larger black eggplant, and the lady said they were also less bitter), 1 red onion, and 1 head of elephant garlic (altogether $5.50). She had another type of garlic, but I forgot the name already, as she said it is less garlicky, and that is not what I want out of garlic. What I want is more garlic. Now, I don’t know what I’m gonna make with this veggie combo, but it should be delicious, if the freshness of the ingredients has anything to do with it.
And yes, it’s probably more expensive than those super grocery stores, but I don’t care. I’m buying fresh, organic, local, and from people in Austin. So I’ll pay a few cents more, please & thank you. I will definitely be going again. Not next Saturday though because I’m helping my mom with the Sunshine Kids. Oh, and not the next Saturday because we’re having a camping/tubing weekend. So...the first Saturday of August, I will definitely be back to Republic Square Park. They also offer a Thursday evening Farmer’s Market over on 5th & Comal, 4-7pm, so I might actually check that out over the next couple of weeks since my weekends in July are already tied up. I even signed up for a card that you can submit for a drawing for a free basket of fresh veggies (if I bring a friend, I get double stamps...wanna join me?). I think last month they were offering SW airlines tickets to entice new customers, but I think that promo is over.
Grand total = $16.50, for a drink, two sandwiches, fresh veggies & a dozen eggs. I also feel like I invested in a little piece of Austin, and that, my friend, is priceless.
--
My day of being a good Austin Samaritan was not over yet. Before I had left my house, I had loaded my car with my house’s paper recycling that had accumulated over the past few weeks, and dropped it off directly at the 9th St main recycling location for Ecology Action. All the good Saturday Samaritans were there, unloading their recyclables before starting the rest of their weekend. It felt good. I felt good. I had already accomplished two on my mental list of what to do when I returned from vacation:
1) Shop local. Shop at the Farmer’s Market on Saturdays & Thursdays. Buy organic, fresh, & local as much as possible.
2) Recycle. Reuse. Use less. Waste Less.
3) Bicycle more. Bike to work. Bike to friends’ houses.
4) Simplify your life. Remember what is important.
--
My day of being a truly Austin granola chick was still not over yet…and it wasn’t even 2pm yet.
p.s. Did I mention that Johnny Depp was hot? Yeah, just in case you didn’t know already. He was on Inside the Actors Studio last night on Bravo. He’s pretty funny & insightful, too. I wrote down two books that he recommended for acting, or at least they were two books that he had encountered when he began his acting career.
Start with:
On Method Acting, by Edward Dwight Easty
Then throw away everything you’ve learned with:
No Acting Please, by Eric Morris
Okay, he’s on USA right now (which was the reason for my wandering eye), with Nick of Time, not one of his better flicks (nor Christopher Walken’s) but oh well…
--
So off to Wheatsville, for some soy milk and toilet paper. Now, I won’t tell you my total at Wheatsville, because I tend to overspend when I go grocery shopping. I’m one of those people who you probably hate to go grocery shopping with unless you are one in the same and enjoy grocery shopping to the level I do which consists of reading all the labels and standing in the produce section, sniffing the garlic and giggling about five times before actually buying. Then going back and smelling the garlic again, and giggling, and imagining eating the garlic raw, right there, what would happen, who would stare, then you drop some garlic and laugh, and then look around and hope no one is watching you, but then again, everyone else in Wheatsville is half-crazy too so who cares if they are. Then finally buying the baggie of fresh cloves of garlic for only $1.99 and daydream about what you are going to make with fresh garlic all week and imagine yourself reeking of garlic for about a month and envision yourself rubbing some garlic on your wrists and would anyone buy an eau de parfum made of garlic if I invented it. Yes, that’s how I shop. I usually need a good half hour in Wheatsville and about 2+ in HEB. But I’m gonna try to stop that because my time equals about $100/hr. So my thirty-minute stint in Wheatsville still totaled fifty bucks.
I usually get the Silk soy milk, vanilla flavor, but there was a $.50-off coupon for Vitasoy, so I thought I’d give it a try. I got organic original so we’ll see. I also opted for Almond Breeze (almond milk) which was on sale too so I’ll let ya know. I've never tried almond milk before. I usually only use the soy milk for my cereals, which I have three unopened boxes from before I left for some reason. (See earlier statement, about stockpiling for Armageddon every time I’m in HEB.) If there’s a coupon or a sale item, I’ll buy it. Unfortunately. There was a $.50-off coupon for Bisca crackers, so of course I will try. And, hmm…what can I dip on the crackers? Let’s try some of Wheatsville’s baba ganouj. And let’s pick up some cheese. (I would so try to be a vegan except for my undying love of cheeeeese.)
I remember reading this Fit for Life book by Harvey Diamond before, and I was trying to remember one of the recipes or eating guidelines: corn tortillas + avocado. So I buy both. Along with some sprouts and oh yes, spicy mustard was what went with it, yes. Mmm, Reed’s ginger brew. My old roommates J&K used to always drink that. I’ll just take one instead of a four-pack. Okay, so $.50-off coupon for bottled water, I’ll take that. The hibiscus tea was so good this morning (and it’s so hot outside) that I go and find something comparable in the instant iced tea department. Well, raspberry tea, but that’s okay. And cheap. I check out the lemons, but they’re organic and mongoloid huge (is that totally un-pc?) and they scare me with their size and deformities. I guess I like the tiny unnatural lemons better. And then I run into the garlic (see earlier description). I have this strange love affair with garlic: I love garlic, and I don’t know whether or not garlic loves me back. Much like most of the relationships in my life. While in the fresh produce, let’s get some kiwi for dessert and some mushrooms for dinner. Now, what to make for dinner…
I pay $20 cash towards my lifetime membership. Only $25 away from being an investor in Wheatsville, so I better frequent there more often now. Oh good! I see now that my total was really on $30.42. Thank goodness! The additional $20 (which I saw my total as $50) was the extra of my cash payment toward my membership. Look, I’m getting better. Only $30 for 30 minutes. Oh well, wait, I did spend $16.50 earlier at the Farmer’s Market, so we are pushing near $50. But hey! I didn’t go out last night and there’s still money in my wallet from getting paid on Thursday. Let’s see how long it lasts…
Next Saturday July 22 is Member Appreciation Day at Wheatsville, where members save an additional 10% all day. Remind me to hit there again next weekend. With a stopwatch and an exact shopping list. And next time I'll remember my own bag.
Now, I'm off to go swimming at Bull Creek with my sister and five-year-old twin nephews! Happy Saturday!
posted by
zenbetty at 3:53 PM
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wFriday, July 14, 2006 |
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Margaret Cho is my new hero:
3/23/06
Beautiful
Once a friend was upset about going home.
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because you can take a cab, but I can't."
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "Because I am really pretty. You are so lucky because nobody bothers you. I could get raped."
Me: "I could get raped too!"
Her: "Marg. Ok, get real now. You would not get raped. They don't go for girls like you."
Me: "Like what?"
Her: "Whatever..."
A DJ asked me, "What if you woke up tomorrow, and you were beautiful? I mean really beautiful. You were 19, blonde, weighed 110 pounds, 5'11" and beautiful. What would you do?"
I am beautiful now.
The DJ says, "You know what I mean."
No. I don't. Just because you are blind, and unable to see my beauty doesn't mean it does not exist. I am so fucking beautiful I have players lined up around the block around the clock waiting for me...
I have to believe that I am beautiful because if I don't I will die.
--
Read more here
posted by
zenbetty at 3:32 PM
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so my travel-high wore off already. yeah, that was unforgivably fast. five days. i went out tonight and watched my friends flirt as i realized i'm too old or whatnot for anything to change for me in this town. so i cried all night when i got home. and here it is, 4:30. maybe it was long overdue, but still, i didn't need that. i needed a night out, a night out as good as i was feeling inside. but it didn't happen. the truth happened. and now i see why people move and people need change and people are stifled when they're subjected to the same routine over & over. if only they could see who i am and who i was and see what other people saw, other people, strangers, who don't take me for granted and who don't assume i'm gonna be the same ol' person that i've always been. it's people who don't let you change, don't let you grow. i'm not blaming anybody but myself. but i know, there is more inside of me than any of you here will ever know.
posted by
zenbetty at 4:41 AM
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wTuesday, July 11, 2006 |
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I am back. Did you miss me?
Austin will always be here, right? I can leave again, and come back...or can I? Things change when you leave. When you're not part of that change, then that change happens around you not because of you, it happens without you, and you have no say or influence anymore.
I don't know. I'm already daydreaming about Summer '07. Already planning Italian language classes & French classes. And looking up Greek recipes I want to make now. And and and...
Let's celebrate Bastille Day this Friday July 14. I mean, the Italians won the World Cup (and I will have a Dolce Vita Sunday someday soon...this Sunday perhaps?) but this Friday is the French equivalent to our Independence Day. So let's give the Frogs some credit.
How to Celebrate Bastille Day
It is a day to celebrate freedom for all people and to proclaim, "Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité!"
Celebrate by having an evening picnic of wonderful French cheeses, French bread, French wine, grapes, pâté and your other favorite French gourmet treats.
Bon appetit!
(Cut off short - I have to go work now. But you get the idea. All of my ideas, right?)
posted by
zenbetty at 12:14 PM
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Ode to Necrophilia
Yes, I'm going there...
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David Cross - Necrophilia
What's so wrong about donating your dead body to necrophiliacs?
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Necrophilia on Wikipedia
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Over the years, a child's romantic ideals about death blossom into necrophilia, and the most profound relationship of her life.
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Seriously, I was joking all day yesterday, saying "it's not illegal." And now, I really can't find anything online stating that necrophilia is illegal in Texas.
That is curious. And sick. But still...
I questioned AskJeeves.com and they said "That query did not comply with their terms of service." Meaning, that question was too warped to answer and they're probably tracking my ISP address right now. Grrrreat~
--
And now for something completely different...
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Ode to Cannibalism
Court sentences German cannibal to life for murder
Meiwes (the cannibal) corresponded with 400 people over the Internet in his search for a willing victim before stumbling upon Bernd-Juergen Brandes, a high-ranking IT manager with German firm Siemens, who agreed to the pact.
In a tale that horrified the country and inspired a feature film, Brandes traveled by train to meet Meiwes, where the cannibal videotaped himself severing Brandes' penis with a knife. Both men tried to eat the severed organ, but without success.
Bleeding profusely, Brandes fell unconscious. With the video recorder still rolling, Meiwes laid him out on a bench, kissing him on the lips before plunging a knife into his throat.
--
Okay...I'll stop there for today.
posted by
zenbetty at 5:35 PM
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wTuesday, May 02, 2006 |
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New Year, New You
...right? Well, my "new year" starts now. I'm on a different fiscal year than January 1st, because, well I say so! I'm just too damn busy to start a new budget or take on new tasks in the middle of January...I can't even think straight until April.
So...May 1st it is! I now reopen my budget book. (You, too, can own one for under five bucks from any Office Depot store.)
My budgeting concerns this summer:
1) I need to replace my lost/stolen digital camera. New = +$300. Used = $100. Free would be better!
2) I want to replace my stolen iPod. New = +$300. Used = $100. Free would be better!
3) I would like to travel in a couple of months.
4) I would like to start saving some bucks cuz I'm not getting any younger.
5) Oh yeah, everyone except me hates my 1990 cell phone and says I should get a new one with text messaging, etc. We'll see...it sounds expensive.
I hate thieves! Did I mention that already?! Anyway, so this budget book has some tips, and I think they'd work for you, too. Believe you me, I'm not writing down all of them, just the ones I think I might be able to do. ha!
Money Saving Suggestions
-Spend less for certain expenses (cutting down on drinking in bars & eating out in restaurants, never buying cigarettes again, etc.)
-Be on the look out for weekly food specials, and use coupons.
-Use a shopping list and stick to it. Reduce "impulse" buying.
-Compare prices on everything everywhere. (Still, don't skimp when it comes to buying organic versus non. It's worth every penny.)
-Ride your bicycle as much as possible. Save money on gas. (Check out the nation's gas prices.)
-Bring your lunch from home instead of eating out every day.
-Just say No...to your credit card that is. Don't use 'em.
-Make use of your own (or your friends') skills instead of paying for services (such as washing your car, mowing your lawn, fixing your bike, making things instead of buying them, etc.)
Hmmm...That's a GREAT idea. Okay, then, let's see...maybe I can get by with a little help from my friends!
I Have Needs - YOU Can Help!
-Computer Help. My PC is totally kaput. And I have no idea how to fix it, or what to buy, or how to transfer my old stuff to a new hard drive, or where I would even go to ask all these questions. If you are out there and can help me, please do. Please email me: zenbetty@hotmail.com
-Digital Guru. If you have an iPod or a digital camera that you would like to sell to me, please do! Or if you have expert electronic knowledge and can point me in the right direction of my purchases, I would completely appreciate it and will take whatever advice you have.
-Bicycle Help. I have two bikes: 1 cruiser, 1 mountain bike. And I need to ride both much more. Can someone please help me to get both of these (or either one) into tiptop shape? Any advice on Austin bike laws...do I need lights in both the back & front, etc? Anyone who can help me do this (rather than paying full price in a bike shop), I would gladly reciprocate with beer and a home-cooked meal. (Does spaghetti count?) So please, let me know. Mucho Gracias!
-Hair Affair. Any of you ladies (or gentlemen) out there any good with hair? Heck, it's summer. Let's highlight it! Let's do something! Anyone good at cutting bangs at least? Anyone need a guinea pig in your salon chair, count me in.
-Car Shop Advice. I need to take my car in this summer. Please just give me some sage advice or simple words of lingo so that I don't get totally and completely ripped off. I hate that. I hate not being the master of my domain. I think I'm going in for a standard checkup and then they whip out the big fears. I used to work at one. I know.
-Greenhouse Rock. Any green thumbs out there? Jason? Advise me one weekend on how to go about growing my own tomatoes in the backyard? and cilantro? and jalapenos? Or whatever else grows well here with the least amount of maintenance...cuz my thumb is actually a wee tad brown.
-Dinner night. Anyone want to have a potluck every now & then. If ever I do cook, I only cook for one, so I tend to eat the leftovers for 2-3 days afterwards (boring). Else, I end up just throwing away large portions. What a waste. Let's have dinner and a movie.
-Keep Austin Free. Anything FREE FREE FREE in town, let me know. Concerts, lectures, art exhibits, etc! I'm willing to try anything once...for free!
-Beer Me. I'm recently TABC certified again. So if you know of any part-time jobs or any shifts someone needs filled in at the last minute, do let me know. I'm flexible! And willing.
And from my own experience, I know~
-Everyone loves a librarian. I frequent the library a lot. There, you can rent DVDs for free for an entire week. Check out books for free for three weeks. And renew once online to double that loan time.
--
So do let me know. I'm completely serious. If you have any free time this summer, I need help:
Computers, Cars, Cameras, Bikes, Beers, Books, Dinner & a Movie, etc. Okay, honestly, I could use your help. I have a few months to live & learn, to fit all my new year's resolutions and to-do lists into a concise little list and check them all off.
So...if you're out there. Help me in my crusade to becoming a better person. Thank you.
Please email me: zenbetty@hotmail.com.
zenbetty signing off.
posted by
zenbetty at 3:25 PM
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Damn! I sure got stuck on some NY Times articles today! I'm sure that's what I get for not logging on all weekend...
So, here's me:
A Clue to the Hoarder's Compulsion for Clutter
Scientists have long been puzzled by pathological hoarding, which afflicts up to 40 percent of the seven million to eight million Americans with obsessive compulsive disorder. As a group, studies show excessive hoarders fill their houses with accumulations of junk, usually newspapers, bags of old clothing and lists.
Compulsive hoarders, compared with people with other compulsive symptoms, had decreased activity in the anterior cingulate, a brain structure involved in decision making and problem solving. The hoarders also showed less activation than the healthy subjects in the posterior cingulate, an area involved in spatial orientation, memory, and emotion.
Dr. Saxena said the study might explain why hoarders are so attached to their possessions. Deciding what to keep and what to discard is often a struggle. They are tormented by fears of throwing out items that may be needed one day. Often, the objects are kept in the open, stacked to the ceiling in the living room, the kitchen or even on the bed, Dr. Saxena said. That may result from the lower activity levels in brain regions that govern memory and spatial orientation.
''It may have to do with the difficulty they have in their visual spatial processing,'' he said. ''And they may have some trouble remembering where things are and feel that they need to have them in sight.''
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So damn, what's a girl to do?
posted by
zenbetty at 3:46 PM
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Safeguard Organic Standards!
A MOUTHFUL OF MONEY: THE CORPORATE TAKEOVER OF ORGANIC FOODS
* Kraft Foods bought small natural cereals producer Back to Nature in 2004. The company is a subsidiary of Altria Group, which also owns Phillip Morris Companies Inc., one of the largest cigarette makers in the world. Kraft also owns Boca Burger Inc.
* Odwalla Inc., which produces natural and organic fruit juices, was purchased by Coca-Cola in 2001.
* Dean Foods Co., the largest dairy company in the U.S., bought out Horizon Organic in 2003, in addition to Silk soymilk and White Wave tofu.
* Kellogg's has acquired several natural and organic brands: Kashi Cereal and Morningstar Farms.
* General Mills purchased Cascadian Farm, in 2000. The brand consists of items such as frozen fruit, vegetables, granola bars, and fruit spreads. General Mills also bought out Muir Glen, which produces ketchup, tomato sauce, and salsa.
* Unilever bought out Ben & Jerry's for $326 million.
* Colgate-Palmolive Co. is purchasing Tom's of Maine, which specializes in natural oral and personal care products.
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Organic Standards Under Fire:
Agribusiness front groups, such as the Farm Bureau, big food corporations like Kraft, biotech companies such as Monsanto, right-wing think tanks, such as the Hudson Institute, and industry-friendly government agencies have consistently tried to undermine organic standards and get the USDA to allow conventional chemical-intensive and factory farm practices on organic farms. Unless strict organic standards are maintained, consumers will lose faith in the organic label.
SOS link here
posted by
zenbetty at 12:41 PM
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wFriday, April 28, 2006 |
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October 2005, Part I
(Spoilers listed below for Unknown White Male)
p3000: how was your second movie last night?
zenbetty: i really really liked it
zenbetty: and it really really made me think
zenbetty: do you know what it was about?
zenbetty: god it made me think all night, couldn't sleep
p3000: no idea what it's about. do tell...
zenbetty: 35-year-old guy in NY had amnesia
zenbetty: he's originally british, his brit friend came over and recorded the two years after the amnesia incident, with him (doug) learning his new self, him desperate to know the past - then transformed to not really wanting to know the past anymore
zenbetty: crazy stuff. i mean, if you could start over...
zenbetty: would you want to remember everything you did, good and bad? or would you want a clean slate, at 35 (if you were single) and people said you had a good life before, and said you were a good person.
zenbetty: so why not just start making new memories & new friends & new relationships
p3000: that's fascinating
zenbetty: the only thing he wanted to remember was his mother
zenbetty: because his mother had passed away, so you couldn't re-learn that person, except from photographs etc
zenbetty: (and that just so terribly terribly got me, about my father)
zenbetty: and that i wouldn't want to forget him, but that would be it
zenbetty: i mean, i could re-learn my mom & my sis cuz they're still here
zenbetty: and it was also funny cuz his brit friends said
zenbetty: what a refreshing feeling that would be, you wouldn't have to hang around some blokes you didn't really like. you could just say hey, man, i don't remember you, then start over
zenbetty: ha
p3000: funny
p3000: yeah, so you wouldn't want to remember or would you?
p3000: i would, even the bad stuff
p3000: i'd be too damn curious
zenbetty: well that's how he was in the beginning...then it sort of changed
zenbetty: he had a new girlfriend with the new him, and they were thinking
zenbetty: well what if it all just comes back one day, will he be the same old person he used to be or the new one he has become
p3000: no shit
zenbetty: it was sort of like you had to re-learn the people you "already knew"
zenbetty: so in the process the guy who made the documentary was an old brit friend who flew in
zenbetty: and he was narrating saying that as he learns the new doug
zenbetty: the old doug is disappearing
p3000: how sad!
zenbetty: no, but it's sort of for the best
p3000: oh
zenbetty: it wasn't sad, it was beautiful
zenbetty: he was seeing the new york lights for the first time
zenbetty: and the ocean for the first time
zenbetty: and fashion and people and tv and music
zenbetty: he was like, i just found this great band! the rolling stones!
p3000: HA!
zenbetty: gave me chills, made me cry
zenbetty: i mean, to see the world through the eyes of child but with a mature mind, it was so incredible
zenbetty: made me want to take NOTHING for granted
zenbetty: but we can't help it sometimes, we get stuck in routine
p3000: i'm so putting this on my netflix
zenbetty: he was taking history classes
zenbetty: and re-learning what had happened in the world, re-learning history & everything
zenbetty: i mean, how incredible is that
zenbetty: i don't know if it was that good of a documentary per se
zenbetty: but personally, though, it just made me really really think
zenbetty: who am i? what makes us who we are?
zenbetty: is it our memories? etc etc etc
zenbetty: ugh! i couldn't sleep. brain in overdrive, haha
zenbetty: http://www.unknownwhitemale.co.uk/
p3000: wait - so he just woke up with amnesia? there wasn't a blow to the head or anything?
zenbetty: he "came to" on a subway bus in NY
zenbetty: they don't know
p3000: that's fascinating. why would the mind do that?
zenbetty: they really sort of don't know
zenbetty: in general, in the medical community
p3000: i wonder if it's something that the mind can't handle (crisis, extreme stress) so it shuts down or if it's biological - his brain just restarted like a computer
zenbetty: sort of yeah
zenbetty: that and sometimes for whatever reason
zenbetty: after it shuts down, the mind no longer wants to handle it or the brain no longer wants to remember
zenbetty: i don't know
zenbetty: it would be so fun to see sand and the ocean for the first time
p3000: yeah
p3000: but i'd hate to relearn all my mistakes
zenbetty: well
zenbetty: yeah
zenbetty: but maybe they're in there
zenbetty: what you learned, it's all there, you just can't grasp it exactly
zenbetty: you know, he was nice before *and* after
zenbetty: he didn't turn into a jerk or anything weird, you know, he didn't turn into a totally different type of person
zenbetty: i mean, just cuz you can't remember something, you're still the same person, right?
zenbetty: or are you?
zenbetty: or are you better? because you have no guilt and no regret
zenbetty: no conceit, no pretensions
p3000: well yeah, i believe you'd be the same kind of person basically
p3000: whenever people say "if i had it to do all over again" - i'd never want to do it all over again b/c i believe it would still come out the same way. even if you tried to make it different.
p3000: not like fate really b/c you could do "it" in different ways, but i believe the result would be the same
p3000: which takes the edge off of fretting about "should haves" and "meant to bes"
zenbetty: i know, for the most part, i'd do most of it the same
zenbetty: but you never know though, do "things happen for a reason" ?
zenbetty: who knows...
posted by
zenbetty at 2:29 PM
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Mom is perfectly fine
Can't remember who all I told, but I took yesterday off work to take my mother to her colonoscopy and (since she has previously had breast cancer and we lost my father to cancer) she was completely convinced they were going to find some sort of cancer. BUT everything checked out fine! and doped-up mom, after the procedure, was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, the valium-like drug wore off and she was her same ol' self by last night, ha, forgetting all the promises she made in her "happy" state to stop stressing herself out in the future.
But yes, no cancer at this time! Thanks for listening, and if I just spilled it on you this past week without you asking, thanks for not turning away and leaving me talking to myself at some point. ha.
Good day sunshine! I love April in Austin!
--
p.s. If you know of anyone needing a colonoscopy, they should really go. It honestly was a quick, simple, and painless procedure. My mom found a great Endoscopy Center and Doctor off Steck Ave, where all the staff was wonderfully helpful and courteous.
posted by
zenbetty at 2:51 PM
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okay so last night, i watched one of the best shows i've ever seen on TV. trying to figure out something about it today, it looks as if it aired in August 2005 on FX.
So last night they had a marathon of all 7 episodes, and yeah, i'm neurotic like that. but i was just lying in bed relaxing and reading magazines and flipping through bad cable channels (my last night like that for a while. i "took off" saturday night to do 'nothing' because it may be the last time i do 'nothing' for about two weeks. and i was very much so treasuring that down time), and i came across this very weird premise for a show. Starved. that was the name of it. the most appealing thing about the opening scene was that they were in an unconventional non-12 step type of overeaters' anonymous meeting, where the group participants shout "it's not okay!" and the group leader states without a beat: "you make me sick!"
okay, so after the laughter subsides from when... (*spoiler*) ...oh goodness i can't even say it, i hate spoilers, you have to see it. i wonder if i can rent the season from somewhere. it was hilarious. it was definitely rated Mature (language & sex) and how refreshing it was to see such vulgarity on my TV. and no, i'm not kidding, it was disgusting at times. i had to turn my eyes at times. if you know of 'ways to lose weight' (or if you've ever seen an episode of jackass) then you can imagine at least two instances where you couldn't look at how gross, but simultaneously hilarious, some of the scenes were. and yes, i even cried. when they got outside the humor and the friendships and retraced steps back into their families and where they came from, there were quite a few heart-wrenching moments, and i'm glad they only played 7 thirty-minute episodes in a row or i would have stayed up till the break of dawn watching them all.
i couldn't find much info about it online, like if it's gonna make it to a 2nd season or not. but i highly recommend watching it, when you have a saturday to kill, just sit down and laugh. and cry. and understand. or realize that you have no idea what these people are going through. here on imdb sorta might be why i liked it: "Every character on the show is despicable, and yet entirely sympathetic at the same time. They are written as humans, and humans can be very messed up creatures indeed."
the writer has definitely sucked me into the backwards lives of these four unlikely friends. and unfortunately, upon further investigation, it doesn't look like it was picked up for a second season. what a shame...
Group Leader: "If you were a dog, I'd kick you in the face."
posted by
zenbetty at 8:33 PM
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wThursday, March 02, 2006 |
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my mom has the beginning of osteoporosis and she wrote: "It can be reversible...so I must take more calicum w magnesium & vit d...exercise more (walk), cut back on sodas & caffeine, etc."
so, listed below is what i emailed her, cuz i had researched it for myself recently. I AM NOT A DOCTOR. so this is all stuff i found online or made up (ha!) not really, but it's just opinions or whatever. ANYWAY, if you know of anything to be wrong written below, if you've heard more or different from what i wrote below, if you agree or have experience with anything i've written below, or if you want to add anything else that i would like to know (and you know what i would like to know), PLEASE post a comment or email me. i would love to eat healthier and live healthier and the more accurate info i have to do so the better!
THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS OR REGURGITATED INFO I FOUND ONLINE FROM RANDOM SOURCES. PLEASE CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE DOING ANYTHING. DO NOT TAKE MY ADVICE ON ANYTHING.
--
i just bought this last week! http://www.citracal.com
if you ever buy CALCIUM, i heard you want the calcium CITRATE
and if you ever take calcium, i think it needs to have MAGNESIUM with it because your body needs magnesium to break down the calcium and it needs VITAMIN D for that reason too (i believe)
so...i'd buy the Citracal Calcium Citrate Plus
i got it at HEB. now, it's gonna be expensive in your eyes. like about $15/bottle
(for vitamins?!) yes, mom, it's worth it. for 150 caplets, 2 caplets a day. that's about three months worth, about $5 a month for the calcium CITRATE you need. plus, it's only $.09 per pill! if you think of it that way, no, it's not expensive at all. $.18/day for your bones!
yeah, here at walgreen's, it's $13. if you MUST i'll let you buy the walgreens brand for $10, it looks like it has the same combination of ingredients: yeah, $.07 a pill, looking cheaper? i hope so, it's worth it. and you need it.
but do not buy the bogus calcium pills for cheaper, it doesn't do what you need or something. calcium CITRATE is what you need/easier to dissolve/something. check with your doctor first to make sure i'm right, but Citracal Calcium Citrate Plus is what i think you should buy. it also has the Vitamin D & Zinc that is the recommended combo to take with Calcium/Magnesium
ALSO you should take vitamins and your multi-vitamin WITH FOOD or directly after a meal. vitamins will hurt your stomach if you take them on an empty stomach, because they break down the nutrients of your meal with the stomach acids at work breaking down the meal whatever. and if there's no food in there it's not good cuz no stomach acid working or something. so just take after lunch every day. people say they don't like taking vitamins because they hurt their stomach, and that's just because they're taking them wrong on an empty stomach. taking with food you won't even notice because they're breaking down with the food you just ate rather than breaking down your stomach.
and rather than grabbing a soda, grab an 8oz glass of WATER. it's easy at work, we have an ozarka water tank, and it's cold & fresh & purified & FREE. also, at the first signs of hunger, grab a glassful of water, too. many times when you think you're hungry, it's really just your body being dehydrated. try an 8oz glass of water first (you should be drinking eight 8oz glasses of water a day), then eat a while after that if you're still hungry. but you might just find that the hunger 'pains' have gone away.
if you buy OJ or any other drink, buy the calcium-enriched version of that drink.
-these are just easy steps to take when you buy stuff.
and! i might add, this february is the FIRST february in i don't know how long/i can't remember that i did NOT get sick. i'm trying to take my vitamins regularly, and for allergies, i've been taking claritin almost daily this spring. i didn't want to get sick and it really helps fight allergies.
MOM you should take it daily too. it's easy. you can buy the HEB or walgreens brand.
don't buy Claritin D - the D makes you edgy (whatever it is). you just need to look for 10mg Loratadine (antihistamine). it doesn't do anything to you (like you can't tell you took something), doesn't make you edgy at all. i'll even let you buy the walgreens brand wal-itin. it's only $10 for 20 tablets, and for me, $.50 a day to NOT get sick because of allergies taking over my sinuses is worth the price of a soda a day WITHOUT QUESTION!
you don't have to take it daily year-round, just when you know seasonally when the allergies hit you.
mom, now, don't just nod your head and ignore me. i'm serious, you didn't notice me being sick over the xmas holidays this year, did you?! it's the allergies that turn into the sniffly sick we always get.
go to HEB or walgreens or RIGHT NOW, and buy some Calcium Citrate Plus (w/ Magnesium, Zinc, & Vit D), and a multi-vitamin for women, and some claritin (or walitin or HEB - any 10mg Loratadine) and take daily! (the vitamins WITH food, the claritin just have at your desk and take first thing in morning or whenever you sniffle & remember.) TRUST ME. it makes a difference.
and on another note, it's recommended that you walk 20 minutes a day. just WALK.
if you don't have a good pair of sneakers, i would love to buy you some. take the stairs when you can. walk around the block in the morning when you go to get your paper (or after you've read it).
these are EASY steps to be healthier. also, reduce your salt. don't just automatically sprinkle everything with salt. taste it first. and use more herbs and spices rather than salt. eating too much salt can raise your blood pressure. and watch your cholesterol.
cut down on your coffee & caffeinated drinks
-Caffeine reduces calcium absorption.
it's also great to eat foods that are NATURALLY rich in calcium. vitamins are great, but you should also try to get as much calcium naturally through foods as you can. yogurt, cheese, fortified OJ, broccoli, beans, almonds, etc.
ALMONDS are a great snack for many reasons. don't be too worried about the fat because it's healthy fat. like avocado fat. (just don't eat too much though! healthy doses as a snack.)
at target, planters nuts are 2/$5 (cheaper than HEB). i get the cashews, almonds, macadamia nuts combo - it's delicous & addictive (so watch out!)
-don't buy the claritin at target, though, $15 for 20 is more expensive than walgreens $10/20
so in my drawer at work, i have: multi-vitamins, calcium citrate plus, my (south beach diet approved) planters cashews, almonds, & macadamia nuts, my box of oatmeal in case i missed breakfast, and about four cans of soup as backup in case i don't have time to leave for lunch. progresso are good & cheap & available at HEB. i also do the veggie healthy brands like Amy's. minestrone versions are always good in most any brand. mixture of pasta w/ beans & veggies. filling. also, the lean cuisines are fairly healthy (no trans fat, no partially-hydrogenated oils) for frozen dinners, rather than the smart choice (which have the preservatives and hydrogenated oils, which unfortunately = cheaper because they use the ingredients that are bad for you). our FDA makes me sad because they allow these poor ingredients in all our food. and unfortunately, healthy food is usually the more expensive choice. but your health is worth the price. and buy ORGANIC whenever you can.
okay, that's your daily doctor report from a hippie chick in austin tx.
oh! try to eat more more cancer-fighting antioxidant SWEET POTATOES! they're yummy! remember how we said we were gonna eat more (because they tasted so good during the holidays!), they're even great as dessert, with some cinammon sprinkled on 'em. before we got busy here at work, i made these yummy sweet potato/kidney bean burritos. sis! i think even the boys would love these. sounds like a funny combination, but it's really good. mom, at the bottom, i clicked change to 3 servings, and it was perfect - 1 or 2 for dinner and an extra one as lunch or snack the next day. the combo of cumin & sweet potato was yummy. it used about one cooked sweet potato for the 3 servings. now i'm getting hungry.
okay back to calcium...
* Calcium citrate is well-dissolved and absorbed
versus the other versions of calcium that are out there. as with everything, you can take too much of anything. and you can intake too much calcium. so always consult with your doctor. (or do your own extensive research like i always do online, ha!)
-Do not consume more than 2500mg of elemental calcium daily.
treat yourself to salmon. salmon & shrimp are good sources of calcium too. but i'm veggie so i didn't mention them till now.
also, try to sprinkle berries on your oatmeal or cereal. more antioxidants help the fight againt cancer. more broccoli & spinach too. try to eat more carrots. grab green tea instead of coffee. eat cranberries. and of course, consume as many green leafy vegetables as you can. you'll notice a difference, rather than hitting burger king or mcdonald's. and who knew?! GARLIC is cancer-fighting. eat lots of it,
-Garlic inhibits or prevents cancer development. Reek of it! the stinkin' rose!
i made roasted garlic the other night too, look how beautiful it is:
o sheesh, it's the best! i bet the boys would like that, too.
look for the whole grain stamp on your cereals, bread, and oatmeal etc.
mom, also ask your doctor or chalasani about Q10 (CoQ10). i can't tell you about it because i haven't done enough research but i read it a lot, that and spirulina. would you ask your doctor about those? because they might just be hippie quack stuff i read about online and i wanna hear what a doctor has to say. tell him your hippie daughter was asking.
and on a completely different but similar note:
Tips for Keeping Your House Clean when You're Depressed
1) Keep Up As You Go! Little things like rinsing and putting your dishes in the dishwasher as soon as you are done, or putting things away right after you use them, make a difference.
Baby steps will finish the race. You'll be fine, mom, no worries. Just try to eat healthier, be conscious of what you are eating, try to walk a little, and don't get stressed out or depressed.
I LOVE YOU!!!
posted by
zenbetty at 3:04 PM
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